


Alexithymia- chapter 9

by bobasheebaby



Series: Monsters [9]
Category: The Royal Romance (Visual Novel)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dark, Dark, Evil Liam, F/F, F/M, evil olivia, slightly nsfw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:21:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26411800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobasheebaby/pseuds/bobasheebaby
Summary: Liam tries to get closer to Emma. Emma makes her debut.
Relationships: Liam/Main Character (The Royal Romance), Liam/Olivia Nevrakis, Olivia Nevrakis/Main Character (The Royal Romance)
Series: Monsters [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1621735
Kudos: 2





	Alexithymia- chapter 9

**Author's Note:**

> Eek! Okay so I suck, and life has a way of getting in the way. My partner and I have the next chapter nearly complete so hopefully it won’t be as long of a wait!

_Alexithymia is the inability to identify and express one’s feelings._

\--

_What are they doing here at the palace?_ Liam thought, standing and forcing a smile. “Loves, I wasn’t expecting you until the masquerade ball.”

Olivia gave Liam a dismissive wave. “Plans change. I wanted to let you know we arrived so you wouldn’t be caught off guard. No secrets between us, right?”

He glanced at Olivia suspiciously. He’d known her long enough to know something was on her mind, but he wasn’t able to figure it out. “Perhaps it’s better that you’re early. You and Emma will have a chance to settle in before the start of the season.”

“The palace is very beautiful,” Emma said. She looked to Olivia, whose eyes were still fixed on Liam. She reached over and gently squeezed her hand. The exchange felt off, different from their regular, loving banter. She struggled to identify what changed.

“Dear, where are my manners?” Liam walked around his desk and towards the women. Olivia offered her hand, her eyes turning to meet Emma’s while Liam’s lips brushed her hand. Liam turned towards her, smiling as Emma offered him her hand. “Your new style is exquisite, Lady Emma.”

Emma blushed at the compliment. “Thank you, Liam.”

Liam held her hand a beat longer than protocol would dictate before releasing it. “I apologize, but I have a meeting for which I must prepare. Olivia, love, please help Emma settle in and I’ll see you both for dinner tonight. I should be free for the rest of the evening.”

Olivia narrowed her eyes slightly, a catlike smile on her face. “Of course, darling. Let’s dine in my quarters. We’ll take care of reservations.”

Liam noticed how Emma looked at Olivia; he felt a bit uncomfortable with the power she was displaying. “Very well. I’ll see you at seven.”

\--

Liam grasped the brass handles of the French doors that opened to Olivia’s terrace. A gust of warm salt air caressed his face as he stepped outside. Unlike his, which overlooked the Aegean Sea, Olivia’s looked out over the capital and towards the hills of Portavira.

“It’s a beautiful view,” Emma said, startling Liam as she stepped up beside him and touched his arm.

Liam stiffened briefly before letting out his breath. “Cordonia is a beautiful country. We will visit the different duchies as part of the social season. It has something to offer everyone.”

Emma leaned over the railing; her eyes closed as the breeze brushed her hair from her face. “Which one is your favorite?”

Liam chuckled. He had never been asked that, nor had he thought about it. “As king, I don’t believe I’m allowed to play favorites.” He looked over and met her eyes. They twinkled. They reminded him of how Olivia’s used to dance under the stars, back before the monsters broke them.

“I’ll let you know which one is my favorite. I’m allowed to have one, right?” She glanced at him with a coy smile.

“Why did you and Olivia return from Ramsford today? I thought we agreed you would return tomorrow morning.”

Emma closed her eyes; if forced, she would say his tone was almost chiding. “I’m not sure. Olivia thought it would be good for us to settle at home before the ball. Give me a little time to spend getting to know you. We have only spoken over the phone a few times while Olivia and I were at Ramsford.”

Liam smiled as he hung his head, shaking it as he chuckled. Of course, they missed him. Why did he immediately think Olivia was keeping something from him? It was rare for the two of them to spend more than a day or two apart. Perhaps she was annoyed that the three of them weren’t able to spend time growing their relationship.

He knew he had to make it right. He had promised Olivia they would find a way to make it work. Together, they had promised Emma they would love one another as they all deserved.

“Did you learn any of the traditional dances?” Liam stood and turned towards Emma. She was so beautiful with her hair swept into a tidy chignon. He swallowed as he wondered if he would be able to push his past aside and build something meaningful with her. “The Waltz is popular, as is our country’s dance, the Cordonian Waltz. It is a more … _sensual_ dance.”

Emma nodded. “Maxwell worked with me during our visit, but maybe we can practice?” She motioned to the open air space they were occupying. “It’s a nice night, and I haven’t seen you since we arrived at Ramsford.”

Liam glanced inside Olivia’s chambers; she was slowly picking at her meal. “That sounds lovely. Do you remember the basic box step?”

Emma turned and faced him. “I think so. Maxwell was more interested in teaching me spins and twirls.”

“Let’s start.” Liam paused and pulled out his phone. He hummed as he scrolled through his music. He hit play before setting his phone on the ledge.

Emma nodded her head in time with the piano solo that filled the small space. She didn’t know much about music, but it sounded pretty. It must be what rich people enjoyed. “What are we listening to?”

“‘Aufforderung zum Tanz’ -- ‘Invitation to the Dance’ -- by Weber. I’ve always been fond of piano, although I was never very good at playing.”

“‘Invitation to the Dance.’ Did you pick this out for me?”

Liam smiled, extending his hand to her. He noticed she blushed. “Lady Emma, may I have this dance?”

“Of course, Liam,” she replied.

He shook his head. “We should follow the protocol for the dance tomorrow. Our interactions must be formal, just like my interactions with all the suitors. I will refer to you as Lady Emma. You will address me as Your Majesty.” He took her hand as her face fell. “In private, I am your Liam.”

There were so many contrasts between public and private at the palace. Not that Emma hadn’t experienced this before, but it felt different now, as though she had so much more to lose. Then again, what can you lose when you have nothing?

He lifted her hand to his lips and brushed a kiss across her knuckles. He knew he needed to try with her, so he focused on taking in everything he could about her body as he pulled her to him and guided her through the steps. He wanted -- needed -- to feel sparks.

Her hands were soft and she smelled of vanilla bean. Her nails were short and polished in pastel peach. Her face was powdered with a faint blush, her eyes a deep grass green. She had a pretty smile. Her hips were soft; unlike most women he danced with, he couldn’t feel her pelvic bone as he held her position.

Her body moved smoothly under his direction. He liked that her steps quickly fell into place with a subtle push of his hand.

Maybe it was too early for sparks.

-

_“I had the perfect dress designed for you,” Olivia said as she carefully tugged the zipper down a massive garment bag. “The Masquerade Ball is the first event of the season, so you must slay it.”_

_Emma watched with wide eyes as Olivia lifted the jeweled ombre gown from the bag. It was breathtaking. The sheer, high neck and sleeves were covered in delicate beading and golden embroidery. An hour later, she stood in front of the mirror, her eyes fixed on her transformed self._

_“Remember one thing tonight: You have the heads of Cordonia’s top three families behind you. I chose the Phoenix for your costume. You are more powerful than you realize._

\--

Emma took a deep breath as she tried to slow the pounding in her chest. She was a ball of nerves, her -- their -- entire future relied on her winning over the other nobles.

The room fell silent as the herald announced His Royal Highness, King Liam Rys of Cordonia. Emma watched him stride into the room with confidence and a broad smile.

She glanced at Olivia waiting in the queue ahead of her. She was the epitome of poise and grace, she looked calm and sure. Her crimson locks were pulled back in a perfect chignon, and her icy blue gown and crystal mask made her look beautiful and fierce. She was fire and ice. Emma envied her at that moment.

She was sure one day they’d wake up and realize they chose the wrong woman. She ran her hands down the sides of her red and gold gown, using a run of sparkling crystals to ground her. Her filigree gold mask gave her the appearance of a Phoenix taking flight once more.

She lifted her chin: _Be the Phoenix. Rise from the ashes._

She gave a soft smile as she caught Olivia’s eye the moment before she was announced by the herald and vanished into the ballroom. She looked up at Bertrand before slipping her hand into the crook of his elbow. They were up next.

He looked down and gave her a slight nod. “Now, Emma. This is the first event of the social season, so you must follow the etiquette guidelines we taught you.”

“Of course, Bertrand.” Emma looked forward and smiled; he made sure to instruct her on the importance of appearance. Look your best in public, always wear a smile, appear agreeable and level headed. Don’t do anything to make people doubt you can fulfill your duties as the future queen of Cordonia.

“Bertrand Beaumont, Duke of Ramsford, and Lady Emma Beaumont.”

Emma held her breath as Bertrand escorted her through the doors and into the first real taste of her new life. Under foot, antique parquet floors gleamed with fresh wax, daring anyone to know their real age. Overhead, large chandeliers covered in thousands of cut crystals refracted soft beams of light around the room. Soft discussions and the clinking of stemware drew her eyes back to the space in between that she occupied. She looked down at her dress and wondered how much it cost to make her appear to fit in here.

“Chin up,” Bertrand discretely murmured. “Let me introduce you to the heads of Cordonia’s noble houses. It is essential to have them on your team; the more support you have, the easier it will be for everything to go as planned.”

He handed her a flute of champagne that made her wonder what the “champagne” she sampled prior really was. She ran her fingers along the beading of her gown. She knew this would become easier with time.

She knew what he lived though as a child, yet he was able to project a perfect image of himself as he played the role of king for his people. Her eyes shifted to Olivia, who was calm and poised as she spoke with a raven-haired woman. They were her family now, and she knew she needed to fit in so she wouldn’t lose them.

She knew how Olivia felt about her, and her skin tingled at the memories of the time they spent together. Liam was more of an enigma. She knew she needed to spend more time with him if she were to someday love him. She didn’t want to leave him behind in favor of Olivia. That wasn’t their plan.

\--

Olivia knew that the longest song played after opening remarks. While she understood that he had to give all suitors and guests equal time, she felt like he was going out of his way to avoid Emma. She watched Bertrand parade her around the room, introducing her to the heads of the major houses. Emma appeared to be enjoying herself, but Olivia noticed how her eyes would flick to her and Liam.

If Liam noticed her longing glances, then he sure as fuck missed the memo. Olivia knew she wasn’t enough to keep Emma in the arrangement. He needed to man up and play his part too; after all, Emma expected it to be them.

She positioned herself near Liam so that she could grab him immediately after he finished his remarks. Others knew of their friendship and it was expected that others step back and allow them this dance.

She ran her fingers along the edge of her mask wishing she could take it off. The weight was making her head hurt.

“Lady Olivia, what a pleasant surprise.” Liam held out his hand in invitation to dance. Olivia smiled and placed her fingers in his palm; the orchestra started to play and Liam whisked her onto the dancefloor.

“You look like you are having fun tonight,” Olivia said. “Are you planning to pay any attention to Emma?”

Liam's mouth tightened briefly before he softened his expression. “I will. I have a lot of people I need to greet --”

“And dance with, yes. But you need to be smart about this; if you don’t make time for Emma someone else will. We are already on thin ice with this relationship. You need to make her feel like you care.”

“I do try -- I gave her dancing lessons last night.”

“She enjoyed her time with you.”

Liam closed his eyes before pulling Olivia close. “I want this to work. But you know we both have no idea what we are doing.”

Olivia snorted. “Speak for yourself. Emma and I are getting along just fine. In fact, we’ve kissed.”

Liam was quiet for several measures. This wasn’t what he wanted to hear, especially in public. He pulled her in again and dropped his voice to a low growl. “You know damn well that we love each other and we can’t even make it work that way. How am I supposed to … _relate_ … to another woman when I can’t even with you?”

“Liam ...”

Liam loosened his grip, allowing her to step back into a basic box step. “Yes?”

“We do make it work. We just make it work on our own terms. You know I love you, and I know you love me. I wouldn’t want to live my life without you.”

“I doubt anyone would call it normal,” Liam sighed. “You know we both had that stolen from us.”

“So, we try harder. We talked about this. You take Emma as your wife, and we’ll be a family. We’ll figure it out. But if you keep saying ‘no no I can’t,’ if you refuse to let her in … you’re always going to be a miserable fuck.”

Liam avoided her eyes as he spun them to the edge of the room. He stepped back and looked over her shoulder. “We’re done here. I need a drink.” He fixed a smile on his face and left Olivia with no other option but to try harder to make them work.

\--

_Love shouldn’t be this hard. Loving someone, letting them in, and yet it was the one thing he couldn’t do._

_He’d tried with other women, those who knew nothing of who he was or the whispered rumors of his past._

_His fingers curled around the edges of the porcelain basin._ You can do this. You must do this. _He’d thought it would be easier with Olivia. After failed attempts with nameless others, surely the person who mirrored the truth etched in his soul would be easier to touch and kiss, to_ love _._

_He loved her; if he could be with anyone, it would be_ her. _He could do this for_ her.

_He lifted his head, looking past his frustrated reflection in the mirror._ It’s Liv. She loves you. She knows all your deepest and darkest secrets -- you can do this for her.

_But the small voice in his mind came back to play Devil’s advocate._ But does she? Have you told her how twisted you are, how you can only get off on pain? Does she know what fear, pain, and blood do to you? How excited they make you? That you are disgusting and deserve no one?

_He looked down at his groin as he felt the elusive twitch of arousal._ Use it ... use it to show her that you love her. Don’t make her feel undesired. _He reached down, his fingers wrapping around his hardening length. As wrong as it felt he tapped into the feeling of anger and relief that had coursed through his veins. His hand slid up and down his manhood with ease until he was fully erect. He took one last deep breath before walking back into the bedroom._

_He stopped short, the air quickly expelling from his lungs as he saw her curled in a grey blanket and crying. S_ he heard you, you idiot. She thinks you find her repulsive when she’s the most beautiful creature you’ve ever seen. _Every scar was a beautiful reminder that they had survived._

_He hurried to her side and pulled her into his arms. “Livvy, I’m so sorry.”_

_She looked up at him with tear-stained cheeks. “I can’t do it, Liam. I thought I could, but I can’t.”_

_“Shhhh,” he murmured into her hair. “It’s okay, we’ll figure it out.” He shifted on the bed until he was lying on his back with her cradled to his chest. “Let’s go to sleep.”_

\--

Liam locked eyes with Madeleine; she was difficult to miss in a leaf green gown with an intricately detailed bodice of gold thread and crystal beads. Much like Olivia and himself, she was a child of unfortunate circumstances: Her father was absent and her mother’s alcohol use left her neglected and in the hands of people paid to care for her.

They made their way across the room to each other with an unspoken understanding that they would have the safety of each other’s arms for the next song. Liam smiled; she was an exquisite dancer.

“Your Majesty,” Madeleine said as she dipped into a perfect curtsy.

“Lady Madeleine,” he replied, taking her hand and giving it a tender kiss. She knew most women at court were not kissed like this by the king.

He pulled her into his arms, their hands naturally finding their homes on each other’s bodies as they stepped into a waltz.

They danced quietly for a minute before Madeleine spoke. “Our mothers want us to marry.” She paused as Liam twirled her in a spin. She came back, their chests together, her voice low. “I worry about what she might do if we go against her wishes.”

Liam shook his head as he caught sight of Regina across the room. “She doesn’t have power over me. Or you. We both deserve someone who will love us, whom we can love in return.”

Madeleine shook her head slightly. “What does that even mean? To love when you have never had that in any form.”

“Optimism, dear Madeleine. It’s time to make your own choices.”

They danced in silence for a few measures, Liam’s words sinking in. He always had faith, even with the hell he went through as a child. “Perhaps you’re right.”

Liam laughed. “I try to be.” He looked over her shoulder to see Emma with Bertrand, chatting with flutes of champagne. _Will I be able to follow my own advice?_

He excused himself when the dance ended and made his way across the floor towards Emma. It was late; the number of guests had started to dwindle, and he knew his time would soon run out.

Emma lifted her champagne flute to her lips when she caught sight of Liam walking towards her. She took a small sip before setting the glass down. A shy smile spread across her lips.

Liam extended his arm to her as his body bent in a slight bow. “Lady Emma, would you grant me the honor of joining me in this dance?”

Emma gave a careful nod as she placed her hand in his. “The honor is mine, Your Majesty.”

Liam blocked out the party around him as he guided her into position, focusing instead on the moment he was sharing with her. He closed his eyes briefly and let out a soft breath as he noted how her right hand was soft and warm. His right hand rested on her back, where the cool beading on her gown bit into his palm.

The last time they danced, she smelled of vanilla. Tonight, the floral scent of her perfume reminded him of visiting Japan in spring. He wondered if the gardens of Japan would smell the same next time he visited. He was convinced love changes how one experiences the world.

The faint sheen of sweat on his brow, the blush of her cheeks, and their feet moving together in 3/4 time created a portrait of the life that he could have with her. The feeling of her body pressed into his mimicking a perfect fit gave him a touch of hope. _I can make this work. I must make this work._

For the first time, he believed the deep scars left by his father wouldn’t hold him back anymore.


End file.
